The funny side of being gay...A post for National Coming Out Day

The first thought that enters any mans head when they hear that someone is gay is the image of a skinny guy with designer gear and the infamous 'fag hags' hanging out of him and yes, this is an acceptable image as it is quite common place but for those of us who do not fit the stereotype where do we fit in?

Rewind twenty years ago, I was on holidays in France with two of my best friends camping, both typical lads and two of my best friends amongst others. The weather was roasting as we sat in the tent that evening as the sun had been blazing all day. After about two bottles of cheap wine (steak and onions were cooked in said wine..some for me, some for the pan you get the picture), a conversation moved towards being gay etc. Inadverdently I came out with it (being half cut was always something I did and but not so much now!) and told my friends I was bisexual, a phrase that gay men use as a bridging so as not to offend their masculine peers but just enough to soften the blow so they can come out as gay later on.

Cut back now about eleven or twleve years later. Those lads are still my best friends and now I am in a loving relationship with a man who I cannot speak more highly of, whom I love to bits and who treats me as an opposite equal. My parents have been fantastic about it all as have my family and my friends. My mother enquires as to the future of her 'son in law' messing and my father being a taxi driver, proudly tells people about me without a shadow of a doubt. The idea that their son is gay was a shock to them in the first place but its something that they got used to , I make it out to be like riding a bike, watching the football or drinking a beer with my aul lad or chatting to my mother. Its just an every day thing. My brother is brilliant about it (I think he thinks it might help him pick up women ;) )

National Coming Out Day marks for most people a day to celebrate being themselves and its handled wonderfully. Its an opportunity for those who may be struggling to come out and tell their loved ones yes I do like the same gender or I may want to change gender but I am the same person. This is in stark contrast to the whole flip side of the coin which I wanna mention.

Referring back to my earlier point in regards to the images of gay men. There is the usual 'twink' with their hair neartly combed, in skinny jeans and camper than a row of tents, some of whom would make Liberace look like Arnie in Predator. Men of a particular generation have this image emblazoned on their mind as a stereotype of these men. On the flip side are those that try to hard to be butch and something in my earlier years I did myself to distance myself from the stereotypes but then I reached a point where I discovered that this was in reality utter bollix, its nothing to do with how I act, its about being me. My range of interest goes from the extremely camp (Eurovision Song Contest, dance and pop music) to the very butch (football, heavy beer drinker, politics) with an array of various other interests in between that oft would be classed as camp or butch but all of these to me are just interests .

At the end of the day just do what makes you happy. Personally speaking (as we had argued before on here and was plastered all over blogs in Australia for some reason) things like Pride (which I loathe with a passion) and faux butchery (which I also loathe) impinge on a persons being, they dont give people a chance to be themselves. Dont listen to any of that crap, be yourself and just be what you are, a decent honest bloke or bird, one who will stand up for themselves and others and is most importantly happy in themselves.

To my readers and friends and family, Happy Coming Out Day.... :)

Dublins Gay Pride

This weekend marks Dublin's gay pride and it's well into its older years having started out in the early 80's when several members of the gay community started it up and since then it has grown into a phenomenal success. Pride itself has its origins in the gay rights movement starting in the summer of '69 when police forced members of the LGBT community to disband from gay bars in New York in the Greenwich area, one of these bars , the Stonewall Inn, later became one of the flashpoints. Fast forward forty odd years later and now Dublin is holding its pride but who does it represent?

My fellow members of the LGBT community have taken it upon themselves to throw one hell of a party and what a party it is. This is one thing that can be done brilliantly is have a party but marching for rights? The world is a whole lot different than it was forty years ago we must admit. As per the Barons discussion with myself in the gay rights threads, his lesbian friends and I and others in the gay community cringe at the thoughts of glitter and Kylie representing us as is proclaimed by a wide section of the LGBT community. From skinny lads beat into jeans to bears pretending to be butch and everything in between, Pride has become synonomous with silliness as much as it has become to represent gay rights. Pride , it could be argued sets us back in society. The gay community seeks so much acceptance yet a march that seeks to only appeal to a minority and not the majority will never do that. Creating a bad impression of people like myself and others whom are quite happy to admit are gay but for whom being gay is only one of many aspects of our life. Straight people do not have straight pride do they?

I propose gay pride bring itself bang up to date and seek to change its attitude and mature itself. Gay marriage will not be achieved by waving glow sticks and endless amounts of Kylie are not going to bring us equal inheritance rights. By all means have the marches, I have joined you all in the past but this is a plea, take a look at the bigger picture. Become a part of active political and social life. Money spent on the parade could be used to fund a hostel for young LGBT people fleeing life from torture or persecution, it could be used to get more LGBT reps into the Dail, it could be used to open the gay switchboard for longer. Every pride I find myself repairing damage from the image portrayed which while fun makes life that little bit harder for me. Pride they say is about embracing our inner gay and being secure to do so but is it not stemming from an insecurity that we must show we are here and queer? Why not throw a concert and invite everyone from civic leaders to community organisations? We can gain acceptance more so through engagement on a more mature level.

Democracy in Russia - the stifling of dissent and opinion

Russia is in theory only a new country. For years living under one of the most oppressive regimes and as centre of the USSR the people of Russia suffered brutal conditions and freedom of speech was severely restricted . Protests were crushed and dissent was stifled through force but have things changed? Russia is in its prime. They have a young population and are coming to form one of the biggest economies in the world and most industrialised making up the BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India, China) but at what price?
Elections in 2011 were widely believed to be rigged with various spokespersons and oberservors noticing ballot stuffing in and around Moscow and other polling stations in the region. Even before this though the people were afraid to speak as was the case with gay rights activisits who were banned from holding gay pride marches in 2010 in St Petersburg and this was followed suit in Moscow this year with the Mayor Of Moscow ,Yury Luzhkov ,stating in 2007

Quote:
"For several years, Moscow has experienced unprecedented pressure to conduct a gay pride parade, which cannot be called anything but a satanic act,"

Numerous reporters have been threatened for being critical of the establishment and in more serious cases reporters were shot which do not certainly needed to be mentioned as they are well known but what is not as well known is cases like that of Sergei Sokolov who was allegedly driven to a forest by a top investigator and threatened with his life. There has been denials of course of this but the fact that there has been sixteen journalists killed in the last few years means there could be something to it.
Finally in a show that the establishment wants an autocracy and is afraid of the people , draconian legislation has been brought in that bans marches that are not authorised. This has been brought in to combat the growing tide of what the Russian establishment sees as dissent, a move by the people to empower themselves. People who gather with "authorisation" are subject to a fine of €5900 .

As Thomas Jefferson said
Quote:
“A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!”



Judging by the Russian establishments actions, they are very afraid...
References:http://abcnews.go.com/International/...ory?id=9663327http://www.channel4.com/news/moscow-...sian-electionshttp://www.washingtonpost.com/world/...6bV_story.htmlhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/world/...V_story_1.htmlhttp://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/5b1bbf82-b...#axzz1xmcgCJv4

Gay Marriage

A lot of talk recently on gay marriage after North Carolina in the US rejected it out right opting to define marriage as being between a man and a woman . This move in itself is an affront to the dignity of the LGBT community in North Caroline but got me thinking about gay marriage in a general context and especially here in Ireland. Ireland has as you know , civil partnership which confers most entitlements to a smae sex partner but stops short at adoption and there is an issue around inheritance. To this end I propose the government introduce gay marriage or indeed something akin to gay marriage as marriage to me has religious connotations. There is support here in Ireland from all corners of society for such a move and such a move should be granted no questions asked. As I pointed out on another thread, some rights are non negotiable and are not subjective as society sees it that way. Why should others dictate to me how I live my private life? From most quarters the religious institutions in Ireland and the right in Ireland have consistently undermined or made efforts to bring anything in by stifling it.

Lets ban marriage...

The right make so much of a deal of marriage these days , they claim its the basis of the nuclear family or 2.4 children . Man meets woman, they get engaged and they marry and for what? Let us not beat around the bush here, marriage only serves a financial purpose, couples who are married here in Ireland are better off financially than those that are not (http://www.youandyourmoney.ie/content.asp?contentid=882) . Tax credits can be transferred between spouses whom are married. The other issue is, marriage in a way is discriminatory, it creates a world where gay people cannot get married but must have to make do with a civil partnership. The rights of a CP are not the same as that of marriage (http://www.marriagequality.ie/learn/...rtnershipbill/) particularly in relation to inheritance and rights. Instead of us all fighting for equal rights why not just scrap marriage all together for everyone? Families who want a religious ceremony can have one by all means in their local church but the marriage must be registered at a registry office . Outdated practices such as marriage should be consigned to the bin of the past, they went out with the dinosaurs, cowboys and Indians and FF as relics of Ireland's past. Start the marriage ban as a basis to building a secular society where we all then become on an equal footing.

Gay Rights Russia

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/...tTN_story.html





Gay rights have suffered a set back in Russia . A new bill says that it is now against the law to promote gay culture to minors in what could be seen as a set back for gay rights. Im not a fan of gay pride myself but they should be allowed march where they like, whats the harm?

A woman tells us her ten year old daughter is a lesbian...

http://raisingqueerkids.wordpress.com/






At heart Im a liberal, I believe that we should live and let live but does this apply to children? Well one woman thinks so as she asserts her daughter could very well be lesbian. People would imagine at ten years of age that a kid would be more interested in Santa Claus and all things that he would bring her at Xmas or when her homework has to be done but her parents beg to differ. As long as the child is not harmed I don't take issue with it however it is the responsibility for the parent to ensure the child is not going to expose herself to any dangers as people are cruel. Its a very brave step for mother and daughter and I sincerely wish them the best of luck.